Obviously, there's no shortage of raw materials for breadcrumbs here. My need for breadcrumbs is primarily in the breading of smelts. I like the crumbs fine and uniform to give tenacious coating to the deep fried delicacies of the sea. Believe it or not, I usually buy my breadcrumbs because every method to make them sucks. I won't use the Cuisinart since it was designed to be irritating, 4 pieces that are difficult to clean isn't worth my time. Pounding the stale bread with a mallet is messy and often breaks the bag. Before going to the market to get some (Progresso), I tried this...

honest. I placed the crisp bread in a heavy plastic bag and made some use of the several ton piece of modern life in the driveway. I pushed the car back and forth over it about 5 times. Aside from a little fear that the neighbors would think I was insane, it was pretty easy. But, uneven particles. If they're not fine enough or uniform in size, the breading can fall apart in the fryer. Darn, another genius idea failed. I'm off to market.