Vino Della Merda

I'm a frustrated synthetic organic chemist who's real passion is food science. When I heard a bit on NPR about how good "bag in a box wine" is, I couldn't resist. The wine was actually called "technically superior" referring to the foil lining and how the integrity of the wine is maintained over time. Some wine, it was mentioned, was actually kept for 6 months. As the wine is dispensed, the foil lining collapses, thus preventing any oxidation of the remaining wine.

I'm frugal and am incapable of discriminating a $7 bottle from a $20 one. I figured I was a perfect candidate to sample a wine that promised to deliver copious quantities of wine at a bargain price. However, I hadn't had box wine since the early days of graduate school and didn't know what to expect.

My palate must have matured. I will say the wine tasted the same over the course of two weeks of dedicated tasting (after all, by this point, it's free) the wine tasted the same. Unfortunately, it was vile. I chose Franzia's Chianti. It was sweet. Really sweet. They must have halted the fermentation with potassium sorbate (or lighter fluid) and then pumped in some really low grade honey. I was essentially stuck with 5 liters of putrid grade wine that I eventually stopped drinking (after about 2 liters) and wouldn't even use for cooking. While the packaging of box wine may be good, beware of what lurks within.

The box is currently stored in my basement, near the paint thinner.